MISS DOROTHY:
THIS IS LIVING!
THIS IS WHAT I CALL LIVING!
I’VE HUNGERED FOR THIS DAY
SINCE HEAVEN KNOWS WHEN.
YEAR AFTER YEAR WITH A SECRET YEN!
ALL OF MY PRAYERS, ALL MY DESIRE,
EV’RY WAKING MOMENT WITH MY HEART AFIRE!
GIVE ME THE MEAT WITHOUT THE GRAVY.
I’LL TAKE THE OYSTER SANS THE PEARL.
PINCHING PENNIES, CLIPPING COUPONS,
SEE A BRAND NEW WORLD UNFURL.
LET ME BROWN BAG ALL MY LUNCHES,
TRY MY HAND AT CANNED CUISINE.
A BERLITZ CLASS I LONG TO PASS.
HOW THE OTHER HALF,
HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES!
NO FOURTEEN-KARAT CRONIES, PHONIES.
FAIR-WEATHER FRIENDS.
I WANT AN “ON-THE-DOLE” MATE, SOULMATE,
STORMY-WEATHER FRIENDS.
POUR ME THE MILK BUT HOLD THE HONEY.
BRING ON THOSE FUNNY MONEY WOES.
PAYING PAUL BY ROBBING PETER.
LAYAWAY TO BUY MY CLOTHES.
SUMMER ON THE ISLE OF CONEY.
WINTER IN HELL’S KITCHENETTE.
I’LL TURN MY DIAL TO RANK AND FILE.
HOW THE OTHER HALF-
MILLIE:
HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES!
POOR? NOT ME, HONEY.
I DON’T WANT THOSE MONEY WOES.
I’LL MARRY PAUL OR DAVE OR ROB OR PETER.
SO I CAN BUY MY CLOTHES AT SAKS FIFTH AVENUE,
BERGDORF GOOMAN, TOO.
THE PRIVILEGED FEW PLUS YOU-KNOW-WHO.
HOW THE OTHER HALF,
MILLIE and DOROTHY:
HOW THE OTHER HALF LIVES!
MILLIE:
I’m on the way up!
DOROTHY:
I’m on the way down!
MILLIE:
It’s a good thing we met in the middle!
MISS DOROTHY:
POUR ME THE MILK
BUT HOLD THE HONEY.
BRING ON THOSE FUNNY MONEY WOES.
PAYING PAUL BY ROBBING PETER.
LAYAWAY TO BUY MY CLOTHES.
SUMMER ON THE ISLE OF CONEY.
WINTER IN HELL’S KITCHENETTE.
MILLIE [In unison]:
POUR?
NOT ME, HONEY.
I DON’T WANT THOSE MONEY WOES.
I’LL MARRY PAUL OR DAVE OR ROB OR PETER,
SO I CAN BUY MY CLOTHES
AT SAKS FIFTH AVENUE,
BERGDORF GOODMAN, TOO.
MISS DOROTHY:
A WILD SOJOURN,
MILLIE:
SO I CAN LEARN,
MILLIE and DOROTHY:
LIVIN’ LIKE THE OTHER HALF!
